Get ready for a long post. There, you’ve been warned.
I would like to start with Psalm 25, which I have been reading as if my life depended upon it. As if I needed to read it in order to put one foot in front of the other lately. And frankly, it has been exactly that.
1 In you, Lord my God,
I put my trust.
2 I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one who hopes in you
will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.
4 Show me your ways, Lord,
teach me your paths.
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
7 Do not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, Lord, are good.
8 Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, Lord,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
and their descendants will inherit the land.
14 The Lord confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
19 See how numerous are my enemies
and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me;
do not let me be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope, Lord,[c] is in you.
22 Deliver Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!
Have you gone through a season when you thought you were being eaten alive? Eaten alive by the enemy, that is? When everything you thought you knew was no longer safe, was no longer stable, no longer made sense?
Have you been there? By “there” I mean a place where you no longer recognize yourself in the mirror. I’m not talking about seeing that donut transfer to your hips before you’ve completely digested it- I’m talking about looking in the mirror and literally warping into the worst version of yourself right before your very eyes. “There” meaning you can’t stand to be in the presence of couples. Couples that you’ve been friends with for years. Couples that you love dearly and they love you in return, but finding yourself looking at them in judgment and resentment. “There” as in waking up with tears running down your face, and having a permanent makeup-less streak on your cheeks until your head hits the pillow that night.
I know there are those of you that know exactly what I’m talking about. I know because I’ve talked to you. I’ve spoken with those who have made it out alive. And it gives me hope. I’m not talking about people who have gone through the fire and walked out unscathed. I’m talking about the nitty gritty, lonely, embarrassing details. What scars do you have? What are you STILL working on? How did you fall victim to the enemy to the point where you never thought you’d recover? How are you a work in progress??
One of my mentors, Beth Moore has provided me with this hope recently. It’s not the first time. And I know it won’t be the last. If I haven’t shared the link to her blog previously, here is it again.
Why is it that when we hit our bottom he is ALWAYS there to show us he has not left us? Not for one millisecond. He is there in our deepest, humiliating, hateful thoughts. And He is there to love us and forgive us. No questions asked.
Recently, while perusing my favorite mind-numbing website, Pinterest, I came upon a lovely quote by C.S. Lewis:
To be a Christian means to forgive the
inexcusable because God has
forgiven the inexcusable in you.
Thanks, C.S. Lewis. I needed that.