Anxiety has been a part of my life for many years. At some points it interferes with my life and prevents me from participating in activities that I enjoy. If you’ve ever experienced anxiety, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, I pray you never will. Cancelling plans, lying to those I care for- these are just a few of the deceptions that anxiety has brought to my life. Experience has shown me this can then spiral into shame and secrets. Now the enemy’s got me right where he wants me. I can tell when my anxiety takes over because I withdraw from everyone- my husband, my co-workers,my friends, everyone. As newlyweds, my husband is still adjusting to this struggle. I know it’s difficult for him to see me treading in darkness. Many years of therapy have given me tools to deal with my anxiety, but it still slithers into my life when I least expect it. I think it will always be a struggle for me. I thank God for my amazing friends and family who are constant in their love and support.
“Oh, how the enemy of our souls delights to walk us to that despairing place one step at a time” – well said, Beth Moore. Well said. Of course there is more to this struggle than I can explain in this blog. A girl has to have some secrets. Grin.
The reason I’m going into all of this is to preface the reveal of my new tattoo. Yes, you read that correctly. As all tattoos are, this was a very personal decision for me. I contemplated this for many months and finally took the plunge. So, without further ado, I give you my first tattoo:
Tattoos are not suitable for everyone, and yet a tattoo is for you and only you. There is much symbolism in that for me because I care a great deal about what others think of my life- my decisions, my appearance, everything. Too much. I pray that you have peace and solace in your daily life, and that you cry out for help when you do not.
The following verses comfort me and redirect my focus to the Lord:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus ~ Philippians 4:6-7
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth ~ Psalm 121:1-2
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light ~Matthew 11:28-30